“I’m Busy, You Too?”

It’s become the default greeting.
“How are you?”
“I’m busy. You too?”

Somewhere along the way, “I’m busy” replaced “I’m well” as the standard response. And what’s more, we’ve come to expect it—maybe even admire it. In many ways, being busy has become a badge of honour, a quiet declaration of worthiness, productivity, and importance.

But is this relentless busyness actually serving us?


The Busy-ness Benchmark

In today’s culture, being busy isn’t just a state of being—it’s a social currency. It communicates that we’re needed, in demand, valuable. But what’s the hidden cost?

Behind the multitasking, the constant phone checking, the overfilled calendars and never-ending to-do lists is often a deeper drive: the need to feel in control, to feel significant, to avoid discomfort or decision-making.

We may even begin to equate busyness with identity:
“I am busy, therefore I am worthy.”

But is this truly the benchmark we want to measure ourselves against?


The Myth of ‘Crazy-Busy’

Brené Brown calls it “one of the most universal numbing strategies”: being crazy-busy. Not because there’s nothing to do—but because we use busyness to avoid feelings, decisions, and uncertainty.

In fact, as leisure studies professor Ben Hunnicutt explains, the Middle Ages had a word for this frantic running-about: acedia—a form of sloth. Not laziness, but a kind of spiritual restlessness where we keep moving without ever arriving.

“There is no real place I’m going, but by God, I’m making great time getting there.”
—Tony Crabbe

Why Are We So Busy?

There are many reasons we stay stuck in the cycle of busyness:

  • To avoid making tough decisions
  • To escape feelings of boredom, vulnerability, or inadequacy
  • For the dopamine hit of productivity and reward
  • To meet external expectations or societal standards
  • To signal our importance or success

The bigger question is: can we relate to busyness more wisely?


Mindful Questions to Consider

The next time someone asks, “Are you busy too?” try pausing before responding. What might it feel like to say something different?

  • What would it be like to say, “I’m focusing on what matters right now” instead of “I’m busy”?
  • How do I feel when I am not busy? What inner voices or judgments show up?
  • Does guilt arise when I choose to rest or slow down?
  • What happens in my body when I say “no” to another task or “yes” to stillness?

Remember, the answer isn’t just in the words—it’s also in your posture, tone, and presence. Bringing compassion into the moment—toward yourself and others—can soften the automatic reactivity.


Taming the Inner Critic

If your mind says, “You’re not busy—what’s wrong with you?” you’re not alone. That voice often stems from deeply ingrained beliefs around worth and achievement.

But consider this: has anyone ever actually told you that being less busy means you’re unimportant, unintelligent, or unlovable? Likely not. That voice belongs to your inner critic, not reality.

The practice here is to notice that voice. Acknowledge it. Then return to your body. Ground your awareness in the soles of your feet or place a gentle hand over the part of your body where you feel tension. Let your breath be your anchor.


Try This Practice

When you feel overwhelmed or caught in the busyness trap, try a simple three-minute breathing space. You can find a guided version here:
👉 Listen on SoundCloud

This small practice can create space between doing and being.


Reclaiming Time: A Reflective Exercise

Explore your relationship with busyness by mapping out your day:

  1. Write down everything you do from the moment you wake until bedtime.
  2. Next to each task, mark it as:
    • N for nourishing
    • D for depleting
    • N/D if it's neutral or mixed

Then ask:

  • Are there depleting activities I can stop—or approach with more presence?
  • Which nourishing activities can I increase?
  • Am I filling empty spaces with noise or tasks out of habit?

Now reflect: could you bring a beginner’s mind to a routine task?

As Thich Nhat Hanh wrote:

“There are two ways to wash the dishes. One is to wash the dishes to get clean dishes. The other is to wash the dishes to wash the dishes... If we cannot be present while washing the dishes, we will not be present for our cup of tea either.”

It’s OK to Not Be Busy: It’s OK to pause and be present. It’s OK to focus without frenzy. It’s OK to be still, and just be.

Because, after all, life isn’t a race to the finish line—it’s a moment-to-moment unfolding. And you don’t need to be busy to be worthy.


Mindfulness2Be | Regina Gerlach Psychology