Embracing difficult feelings [TIMSCBT S5 Reflections]

Embracing difficult feelings with self-compassion requires preparation and skills to regulate.

In our recent trauma-informed mindfulness group, we turned to Jeff Foster’s poem How I Became a Warrior and a guided meditation to explore a different way of meeting difficult emotions. The guided meditation practice encouraged participants to approach feelings like fear, anger, or shame not as adversaries to be defeated, but as companions to be acknowledged and understood. This shift in perspective brought about powerful reflections and transformative insights.


Jeff Foster's "How I Became a Warrior" offers such a profound perspective on embracing vulnerability and transforming pain into growth. This poem is one of my favorites. It resonates deeply with works like Rumi’s "The Guest House," as it invites courage, a shift in perspective, and a compassionate attitude toward responding to our experiences with difficult feelings—and beyond.

Back to my therapy group

INSIGHTS: For many participants, the guided 'embracing difficult emotions' meditation offered a way to move from resistance to acceptance. One participant shared, “Standing alongside these emotions and accepting them felt liberating.” Another noted the surprising lightness that came from treating anxiety with kindness rather than suppression. These moments highlighted the power of mindfulness to create space for emotions without allowing them to consume us.

COMMON HUMANITY: The group dynamic itself became a supportive resource. Participants described how sharing the experience within the group made the practice feel more accessible and meaningful. “Being in the group and doing the full practice helped—it’s different than trying this alone,” one participant reflected. Another added, “It felt like shining a light on something I’ve been running from for years.”

CHOICES TO RESPOND: As therapists, it's essential to provide flexibility in how we approach a session's theme. In this particular session, the focus was on working with difficult emotions through a structured meditation. However, not everyone can sit and engage with guided insight work in the same way. As facilitators, we must offer alternative pathways and resources that meet participants where they are.

These alternatives might include journaling their experiences while listening to the instructions, drawing to process emotions visually, walking while reflecting on the meditation, or even choosing to pause or opt out entirely if an overwhelming sense arises. Encouraging participants to notice their limits and respond with self-compassion—whether by stepping back, modifying, or discontinuing—empowers them to take ownership of their process.

In yesterday’s session, these options proved invaluable. Participants expressed feeling more in control and regulated when given the freedom to engage in ways that suited their needs. This reinforces the importance of creating a supportive and adaptable environment, where every individual can safely explore and grow at their own pace.

This work is a powerful reminder that even our most difficult emotions hold the potential for transformation when we approach them with kindness. As the poem says, “Once I ran from difficult feelings. Now they are my advisors, confidants, and friends.”